I've been running into a word/concept lately that has really helped me understand a problem many of us face daily.  I see and have talked with many people who feel lost, and who are having a very hard time finding answers questions like "Who Am I?" and "Why Am I Here?".  This dilema leaves many of us confused, tired, lathargic, and disconected from life.  I'm begining to see that the inability to find our place or a sense of purpose has many of us stuck in a vicious cirlce of self-doubt, self-evaluation, and self-condemnation.  Our lack of connection to history (our past, heritage, legacy, etc), the future (generations to come, the state of the Earth environmentaly, politicaly, etc), and the ever changing present (our familiies, jobs, churches, neighbourhoods, etc), is a major source of depression, crippling fear, and an ever growing loss of purpose/meaning.

To this realization has come the idea of 'Transendance'.  It's becoming so clear to me that in order to fully live, we must trancend our own small worlds.  We need to begin to both recognize and value the connectedness we have to others.  To explore the impact our lives have, and the ability we possess, to influence the world that surrounds us (AIDS in Africa, Persecution of the Church in Aisa, Incredible poverty in our own cities and abroad.)  We need to embrace the importance that family plays in our lives.  The fact that we come from a heritage and will leave a legacy for future generations, coupled with the incredible impact our families (Grand parents, parents, wives, children, and siblings) have on our day to day lives, should bring hope, joy, love, and a belief that life is about more than we may realize otherwise.

Ultimately, I'm beginning to appreciate the importance of realities that trancend our own little worlds.  Our love for others, interaction with the poor,  the comrodery of a sports team, or the interaction of husband and wife, are all but a few examples of trancendance.  We are not alone, and our lives are not as 'individual' as we have come to believe.  What we do, who we are, how we live impacts and is impacted by the world around us.  Tancendance allows us to look beyond our selves, and to find purpose, excitment, and hope.

The greatest opportunity for transendance lies in our ability to see our lives in relationship with God.  We are created for, loved by, and called to a life that is fully weaved together with the heart of God.  Jesus has made it possible to walk in relationship with our creator, and that is where life finds real meaning, direction, and hope.  As Christ is allowed to live in us, our lives become about more than our own situation, our failures, our victories, our feelings, etc.  Ironicaly, it is as we allow life to reach beyond the reality of 'self', that we find our true identity.  Community… relationship… the interaction of love both with God and with others allows us to see better who we were created to be.

I pray that god opens our eyes to see.  I pray that in our times of intimacy and self evaluation (which are incredibly valid and necessary) we are able to see that we are not alone.  I pray that as we connect with others (friends, family, the poor, co-workers, neighbours, and beyond) we will come to know 'life to the full'.  Most of all I pray that we will be raised up to know Christ's heart, and a personal relationship with the one who loves us more than we could ever know.

God spoke something so fresh to me on Saturday.  It happened while I was up at Mount Washington .  I was sitting on the chair slowly climbing up to the top of the mountain when it began to snow.  Earlier that morning the sun had peeked it's welcome face out from behind the clouds, and I thought for a moment that we may get 'the perfect day'!  (You have to see life from the top of Mount Washington on a sunny day, it's truly awe inspiring.)  The view, the warmth, the soft snow… I'm sure I was surrounded by people who joined me, cheering on the sun as it fought to break through.  It didn't happen.

A half hour later it was obvious that the clouds had won the battle.  Visibility would be low, the snow would cut our faces as we rode, and the combination of fog and precipitation would keep us colder that anyone had hoped.  It was as I sat on that snow blown chair that it hit me… I'm loving this!  I was overcome with the realization that though the day was not as perfect as I would have liked, it beat the alternative of not being there at all.  Sure, it wasn't sunny and warm, but I was sitting 30 feet off of a mountain with a board strapped to my feet.  The simple fact is I was excited to be there even though the day wasn't 'perfect'.

Often life is not as we had dreamed, planned, purposed, and believed it would be.  I'm sure many of you, like me, have had days when this is shockingly obvious.  I guess I'm learning that life comes in all shapes and sizes.  Sorrow is as much a part of it as joy,  satisfaction as disappointment, Wonder and mystery as knowing and reason.  When and where we began to believe that life is meant to be a 'perfect day' is not known to me.  In fact, I wonder who could with integrity teach that lesson to a child or a friend.  I am seeing that the greater truth lies in the invitation to "live life to the full" JN 10.10.  It is when we embrace all that life is with honesty and integrity, that we find joy, peace, patience, contentment, freedom, rest… and many other things that come only as we allow Christ to walk us through the reality of life as we live it.

Last year, Janna and I had the opportunity to put our house up for sale. The housing market in Calgary had gone nuts, and we both felt like God was asking us to sell and pay off our debt. At the time we had no idea that life would move us away from Calgary, so logic won out and we re-financed instead of selling. Months after our hearts were set on Comox and God was orchestrating things for our move. We were able to sell our house, but it took much longer than it would have months earlier, and we lost out on some potential cash in the good ‘ol pocket when it was all said and done.

This experience got me thinking about why we hesitate when God speaks. My life is a testimony to the fact that obedience is the only valid response when God is asking something of us. As a boy I watched my parents demonstrate this truth on numerous occasions, and I quickly began to live it out myself. Janna and I have had multiple experiences where God has asked us to “step out of the boat, and onto the water”, and every time He’s been faithful and the fruit of those decisions has made me who I am today. So… why the hesitation?

I’m attempting to read the Gospels from front to back in the next couple months (I’ll get into that in future entries I’m sure), and I’ve started with Matthew’s Gospel. I was deeply stuck by Joseph’s story the other day. Here’s a single Jewish guy who’s “virgin” girlfriend comes to him with news of her pregnancy, and he understandably makes plans to bow out of the relationship gracefully. That night God speaks to him in a dream:“Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to go ahead with your marriage to Mary. For the child within her has been conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” Mtth 1.20-21 Joseph’s obedience here boggles the mind! I mean, just stop for a second and ponder the reality of the situation. I can almost hear the counsel of his closest friends and family (as I’m sure it was close to the counsel I would give.) I’m going to guess that he ran into at least one person who explained away the dream and brought some ‘rational thought’ to this love sick young mans life.

I think there is a key to it all in the word’s of God to Joseph when He said “… do not be afraid.” To often when we think of God speaking, we are afraid. Afraid of where he may lead us, afraid of what he may say, or of what may be required of us. The fear is often compounded when we actually hear His voice, and find that His words are not safe, and his leading isn’t in sync with our plans or agendas. This fear is what causes much of our hesitation. Often the hesitation is filled with our human attempts at wisdom (pros and cons lists, the counsel of friends and family, the odd book on the subject at hand… etc.) The irony here lies in proverbs where it says that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom.” Only God him self is to be feared. Everything else can be met without hesitation, and that is what I pray for. From life changing decisions to the everyday moments, I pray for faith to believe. I pray for obedience to follow without hesitation whenever Christ calls me, and to where ever He leads.

Welcome to my blog! I’ve never had one before, but thought it’d be a good way to stay connected with friends/family, and to journal some of my thoughts, experiences, and learnings as I start this new chapter in life. January 1st 2007, Janna and I will be moved to Comox BC (Vancouver Island). The reason for the move is simple, but filled with unknowns. I know that I stand to learn much, and grow incredibly in this next season of life. As I step into more of what God is teaching me, I will use this blog to share the stories, lessons, and general musings of it all.

Ultimately, this is "Life As I Live It…"

Chad