Forgive me while I vent a little – HA!  Call me crazy, but it feels like Christmas is out of control this year.  Just yesterday I was listening to the radio while driving, and a commercial from our friendly neighbourhood Walmart came on.  They were targeting last minute shoppers with a generic message about how great they are, and finished the add by suggesting a great 'gift idea'.  That's not so crazy in and of itself.  What hit me funny was the nature of their great 'gift idea'.  Hold on for what may change someones Christmas!! – a $400 GPS unit!!

Does that hit anyone else as insane!  When did Christmas gifts hit the $400 – $4000 mark?  Truth is $4000 is nothing according to car companies this Christmas.  Their great gift idea is a brand new $40,000 car.  No word of a lie, I saw a BMW commercial the other day that was suggesting their cars as a brilliant 'gift idea'.

I guess what has really hit me is how far we've drifted from the real 'meaning of Christmas'.  Simply put, it is to be a celebration of God's gift to us in Jesus – Not the accumulation of more 'stuff'.  Christmas doesn't need to get 'bigger and better' from one year to the next (even if retail budgets & goals do).  The glory of Christmas is bigger than any of us could ever comprehend.  I pray that somehow Jesus isn't lost in the gigantic pile of store flyers that keep piling up in my mailbox, or in the running from one Christmas party to another.  I pray that this next week brings moments of deep rest and reflection in which God is able to not only speak, but be heard.  Keep your BMW with it's GPS Unit all decked out and ready to carry me from one over crowded Walmart to the next.  All I really 'long for' this Christmas is the chance to be with friends and family, and to commune with my Saviour.  In all honesty… isn't that what it's all about?

What a journey!

The past couple of weeks have been amazing in so many ways.  God used them to open my eyes, my heart, and my life up to so much more.  I met incredible people from all over Asia (and even a few from the U.S. believe it or not… HA!)  Honestly, to reflect on it is to count the blessings of what will forever be my 'first trip to Asia'.  I know that it was the beginning of incredible things to come.  I'd had suspicions, but it's now become quite clear.  God has plans for Janna and I that include Asia, and I'm speechless at the thought.  What exactly it might look like is beyond my comprehension at this point.  All I know is that this trip was merely an introduction to a HUGE continent filled with amazing people, and that I have been invited to begin sharing life with a handful of them.

That said, it is incredibly good to be home.  As I sat on the plane from Korea to Seattle the other day (a 10 hour flight!) I was feeling exhausted, anxious, etc.  Suddenly I began to think of our house in Comox, and the home that God is building for us here.  Immediately my heart was at peace, and I was filled with contentment.  I am so thankful for the incredible life that God has given to me.  Janna and I have really started to put down roots here in this Valley, and no matter where our journey's take us, we feel strongly that this place will continue to be a place of rest and refuge for us for many years.  In other words… this is home.

The gift of 'home' is one that I believe to be universally treasured.  It looks different all over the globe, but it is of a high priority and deep value to most.  The truth is, many people live without it in our culture, and yet even they seem to fight for it, search for it, and live with a longing for it.  Home is place where you are known, where your heart is trusted and allowed to find it's way.  Home is a safe place where we are able to truly be ourselves.  A place of peace, rest, life, and love.  Ultimately, I believe this longing is for Heaven. Heaven – a place where 'home' is all the things I've described our Earthly home to be, only there it is complete in all these things. 

I wrote a song a while back called 'Where I Belong' (I'll try to record it in the next bit so you can hear it).  It speaks of a longing in each of us for Home.  In it there is a lyric that says

I've found a place

Where I belong here

Safely at rest

In the arms of my Father

The lyric is a description of home!  Many of us can deeply relate to the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15.  All of us have in different ways taken our inheritance and 'left home' for what we figured was a better option.  This inevitably has left us with this shared longing to return home.  One of my favorite books of all time is called Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen.  In it He uses his reflections on Rembrandt's painting – the Prodigal Son – to speak of dive deeply into this parable from Luke 15.  This painting has become a deep and ever growing inspiration to me (I have a print of it hanging in my worship room that Marty and Keri brought me from Russia).  It is a reminder to me that I have a home, now in part, and one day in all it's perfection.  I wrote another song while Jayda was sick, and it speaks to the traveler on this journey towards home.  It's called travel on, and the chorus encourages us to

Travel on

Sweet Child

Journey on

So here I am.  Home, after an incredible couple of weeks, I'm Home.  I praise God today for the blessing of this place, and the taste of things to come that it is has become for me.  I pray for each of you today… that God would help you find home.  Heaven is not a place on Earth, and yet Home is not only a place that can be found after death.  Christ's invitation to 'fullness of life' is surely an invitation to come home.

It's hard to believe that in two weeks I'll be in Asia.  I've wanted to go for so long, and now it's happening.  For those of you who don't know, I'm headed to Thailand and Indonesia with some other Vineyard guys.  We'll be hooking up with the Vineyard church in Bangkok for a few days before we hop on a plane to Bali for the Asia Vineyard Gatherings.  (I'm told that worship will be led by people of a different country/language/and culture each time we meet, so I'm pretty excited! 

I have to say… my heart is full of anticipation as I prepare for this trip.  I have a deep sense that God has incredible things planned for my time there.  When I was invited to go I knew right away that I had to make it work, but it's only been recently that I've started to see why God wanted me there.  Initially the plan was to spend about 5 days in Bangkok before we headed for Indonesia.  Then, a week ago, Norm and I were invited to come and participate in a worship conference prior to the Asia Gatherings. 

The conference will be filled with worship pastors from Indonesia who are really wanting to press into the Father's heart.  Up until now, most Christian worship in Indonesia has looked very 'western'.  As a result it has made it hard for the people of Indonesia to really enter into intimate places of expression and receiving.  Kiemi, the woman who is putting the conference together, has a deep desire to see the Indonesian church able to express there hearts with Indonesian songs, dance, and other creative expressions that are true to who they are as a people.  This vision and desire connects so perfectly with my heart for the people of God all over the world.  I've come to know the impact that unhindered and ___ worship has on the worshiper, a community, and even those who don't know Jesus.

This opportunity has me speechless.  Once again, God has stepped into my journey and orchestrated things in a way that goes far beyond my wildest dreams!  This experience has deepened my faith in Him.  He truly does have a plan for my life, and I am learning (one step at a time) to simply follow… He continues to take care of the rest!

Please pray for me as I head out on this trip.  Pray that God will clearly lead me as I head into a very unknown place.  I will be asked to help facilitate times of worship with people who know little to no English, so you can pray for divine creativity and wisdom on that front.  As well, they want me to be ready to 'teach'… so you can pray for insight and direction there as well.  Most of all, pray with me for eyes to see and ears to hear what God is doing and saying.

Here is a copy of the conference brochure, I thought some of you might like to see it: Worship Conference Invitation

Hey everybody,

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted to my blog.  Life has been really good this past couple months, but it's been full.  My brother'n'law Chris and nephew Ezekiel have been staying with us since the middle of August.  We're lovin'  having this time with them, and have been really excited to see our home be such a place of rest for them.  As well, Janna has started a job with Westjet here in Comox, and I've recently been promoted to Assistant Manager at Starbucks.  It's just really exciting to see how God is really planting us here in the Valley!  We have a real sense that this will be our home for a long time, and that we will realize many of the dreams and passions God has given us here in this place.

There are a ton of stories, adventures, and opportunities that I will share via this blog over the next few weeks.  Life has caught somewhat of a groove here, and I think it's going to mean I have a lot more time to record, blog, read, etc.  In fact, you can keep your eye on the blog for my newest recording.  It's a song called Lord, I will come and I've been working on it for a couple weeks now.  I hope to post it sometime next week.

I pray that today God touches your life, and that He opens your eyes to His presence as He has mine in the past couple days.

Chad 

Today is my birthday and needless to say, my 30th year has been an incredible one in many ways.  This year has been full of endings and beginnings alike.  Janna and I ended our journey in the Big city and began a very new and refreshing one here on the Island.  That same move meant (in some ways) to our journey with Epic Ministries and the beginning of what has become our beloved home church here in Comox.  In both an exciting and frightening way, this year has brought major changes to my life as a pastor.  In a sense, a journey has ended for me in this area of my life.  That said, my eyes are being opened daily to the powerful and life changing reality of God's call over me being lived out in everyday life.

My life has been altered in core ways this past year.  When I think about the breadth and impact of this change it leaves me breathless.  To think that it was during my 30th birthday party last summer that I looked around at all the friends God had added to my life… took stock of all he'd done in Janna and I in the few short years prior… and thought "I can't believe He's moving us on, this is just so good."  A year later, and I could never put on paper the multitude of ways that Jesus has lead me, spoke to me, restored me, provided for me, opened my understanding, and more than anything… loved me. 

Ironically, while God has been bringing me such incredible life here on Earth, He also chose to bring full life to my sister in Heaven. Jayda's death touched deep places in me, and has sobered me incredibly. That said I truly believe that her legacy coupled with our final moments together (both in life and death) have brought about deep restoration in my life. They have also helped to finish and bring deep understanding to many of the things God started in my heart a year ago when we started this very new season of life.

Paul's words in II Corinthians 5:17 have never been as real for me as they are now.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

What a year!  I can truly say I will never be the same.  My faith for today is a new and increasing one, and my hope for tomorrow has become far more sure and honest.  My identity is being found more and more in Christ, and as I come to that place I am finding rest and peace like I've never known.  He has shown me so clearly who I am as He's revealed to me how He sees me.  I've come to real clarity as it relates to my dreams and His call over my life.  He's a Big God, and this year has humbled me as I've realized that more.  Surrender has taken on new meaning, and this past year has restored in me a reckless abandon that hasn't been there since I was 8 or 9 years old.

Restoration is a promise that God is not slow to act on, and is completely able to bring about. The word restoration was prophesied over my life, by a dear friend, almost exactly 3 years ago. Since then, I've seen God's gentle hand bringing it about in my life one day at a time. All I can say is Praise Him! With everything that you are, Praise Him! With songs, paintings, poems, dances, and all other expressions of the heart…. around shared meals and in quiet moments of prayer… in seasons of work, and days of rest… in marriage, the birth of a child, and death… in times of blessing and of loss…. in both joy and sorrow…. Praise Him!

Hosesa 6 (*vs 1&2)

Today I received incredibly sad news… my little sister is dying.

They've done some tests and found cancer through out her body.  Due to the fact that she's already incredibly frail from previous treatment, there's nothing they can do.  She is at home and will live out the rest of her life with her family and friends.  I've talked to her and to Chris, and they are both having a hard time on the one hand, but have a deep peace on the other.  I too have a peace that is filing my broken heart.  In fact, I feel as if God has been readying me for this day for a couple weeks.  He's given me a heart of intercession, and in that place has quited my spirit and given me ears to hear him.  I have to say, He is very real to me right now, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

Jayda and I are close… I love her deeply, and I know she loves me.  I will pray for her healing until it no longer makes sense.  That said, I feel a real permission from God spend this season saying goodbye.  My prayers for Jayda, Chris, and Ezekiel is that they will have an incredibly rich time together as a family over the next number of weeks and months.  My heart is filled with prayers for them that can't yet find words (I need to grab a guitar.)

I Thank you all for your prayers, and pray that God will lead me as I live this very unfamiliar season of life.  I pray for a blessing over relationship, and for a deep intimacy with the Father. Most of all I pray that God would hold Jayda close tonight (and the rest of her family, myself included.)  Ang wrote a comment on my previous entry in which she mentioned that God had shown her "Heaven was kissing Earth", and that really resonated with my spirit.  I pray that reality would be obvious to us more and more each day.

Well, we've been home now for a little over a week.  To top it off, it's just the two of us for a while.  The past 4-5 weeks we've either been at some one's house, or we've had people here.  It's been an amazing time with friends, but it's good to have some down time for a bit.

The one thing that is hitting me this past couple days, is how much still needs to die in me.  Coming back from our time away I realized how deeply I am impacted by the fast pace of cities like Kelowna and Calgary.  I lived at that pace for so long, that I found myself defaulting back to my old ways at a scary pace.  Now that I'm home, I'm slowly working to recapture that place of rest that I'd just started to touch the surface of before we left at the beginning of April.

Coming to the Island, and to this new way of life, my desire was to become a 'man of rest'.  I know that I naturally am that, but have learned to live a very different life over that past 10-12 years.  My prayer is that the next couple of weeks and months can continue to be a deep lesson in rest.  I am committed to cultivating solitude, patience, silence, and prayer.  I want to continue down the sabbatical path of this year, and to find on the other side that I've grown, changed, and come closer to God's heart.  I woke up this morning singing an old worship song "All to Jesus – I surrender – all to Him I freely give – I will ever – love and trust Him – in His presence – daily live".

Janna keeps reminding me of God's faithfulness.  He has always been there, and He has always cared for me.  He has brought us here, and he will continue what He's started.  This week I'm looking for a job, and in many ways the process is flying in the face of rest.  It's funny how quickly we begin to worry and become anxious.  It doesn't take long before we're fighting fear.  All of it I surrender today knowing that I still have a long way to go, and that's ok.

I've been running into a word/concept lately that has really helped me understand a problem many of us face daily.  I see and have talked with many people who feel lost, and who are having a very hard time finding answers questions like "Who Am I?" and "Why Am I Here?".  This dilema leaves many of us confused, tired, lathargic, and disconected from life.  I'm begining to see that the inability to find our place or a sense of purpose has many of us stuck in a vicious cirlce of self-doubt, self-evaluation, and self-condemnation.  Our lack of connection to history (our past, heritage, legacy, etc), the future (generations to come, the state of the Earth environmentaly, politicaly, etc), and the ever changing present (our familiies, jobs, churches, neighbourhoods, etc), is a major source of depression, crippling fear, and an ever growing loss of purpose/meaning.

To this realization has come the idea of 'Transendance'.  It's becoming so clear to me that in order to fully live, we must trancend our own small worlds.  We need to begin to both recognize and value the connectedness we have to others.  To explore the impact our lives have, and the ability we possess, to influence the world that surrounds us (AIDS in Africa, Persecution of the Church in Aisa, Incredible poverty in our own cities and abroad.)  We need to embrace the importance that family plays in our lives.  The fact that we come from a heritage and will leave a legacy for future generations, coupled with the incredible impact our families (Grand parents, parents, wives, children, and siblings) have on our day to day lives, should bring hope, joy, love, and a belief that life is about more than we may realize otherwise.

Ultimately, I'm beginning to appreciate the importance of realities that trancend our own little worlds.  Our love for others, interaction with the poor,  the comrodery of a sports team, or the interaction of husband and wife, are all but a few examples of trancendance.  We are not alone, and our lives are not as 'individual' as we have come to believe.  What we do, who we are, how we live impacts and is impacted by the world around us.  Tancendance allows us to look beyond our selves, and to find purpose, excitment, and hope.

The greatest opportunity for transendance lies in our ability to see our lives in relationship with God.  We are created for, loved by, and called to a life that is fully weaved together with the heart of God.  Jesus has made it possible to walk in relationship with our creator, and that is where life finds real meaning, direction, and hope.  As Christ is allowed to live in us, our lives become about more than our own situation, our failures, our victories, our feelings, etc.  Ironicaly, it is as we allow life to reach beyond the reality of 'self', that we find our true identity.  Community… relationship… the interaction of love both with God and with others allows us to see better who we were created to be.

I pray that god opens our eyes to see.  I pray that in our times of intimacy and self evaluation (which are incredibly valid and necessary) we are able to see that we are not alone.  I pray that as we connect with others (friends, family, the poor, co-workers, neighbours, and beyond) we will come to know 'life to the full'.  Most of all I pray that we will be raised up to know Christ's heart, and a personal relationship with the one who loves us more than we could ever know.