Overwhelmed

Blog Category: musings — Blogged by: chadb_ca on July 22, 2009

Today I received really heavy news.  A long time friend died in a motorcycle accident this week at the age of 30.  The news hit me really hard.  My heart is broken for the family, and as a friend I'm overwhelmed by the loss.  Death and grieving are hard realities, and experiences that are only intensified when they come 'before their time'. 

A couple weeks ago I had an opportunity to visit my sisters grave.  It was the first time I've been there since she passed away two years ago, and it was a precious moment.  She, like Arthur, was only 30 when she died.  I remember standing at the graveside feeling an unspeakably deep sense of loss.  It was so obvious that what I needed in that moment was beyond me (as was the case many times when Jayda was sick, and never more than the days surrounding her death.)

While Jayda was sick I wrote a song called Overwhelmed.  It came as a very honest prayer in response to the notion that "God will never give us anything we can't handle".  I believed that all my life.. until Jayda got sick.  Truth is, the three years surrounding her sickness were full of moments where I felt completely overwhelmed.  I quickly began to realize that we're not promised a life free from anything we can't handle.  The promise is that he will never leave us, or forsake us.  Each time I sing this song I embrace this truth remembering how often I find myself in situations that require something beyond me.  These moments of complete humanness are many, and they aren't going away.  I have also learned that God will forever be faithful to meet me, guide me, and even carry me in each and every one of these moments.  Overwhelmed is a heart cry. Today I lift it up especially on behalf of Arthur's friends and family.  As well, may it become a prayer for many who find themselves overwhelmed whatever the situation.

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Let There Be Justice

Blog Category: eyes and ears, lessons, musings, stories — Blogged by: chadb_ca on July 2, 2008

Stephen Lewis

Last Friday evening I had the great pleasure of hearing Stephen Lewis speak.  He was invited to the Comox Valley by the World Community Development Education Society (a local organization with a big heart for global social justice.)  I have long been inspired by Stephen Lewis, and so I was incredibly excited to join 1699 other people for his visit.  As Stephen shared his experiences, dreams, frustrations, and ambitions related to helping the continent of Africa I was again moved by a man who's heart beats so deeply for others.  It was so incredible to hear detailed and educated accounts of the alarming and complicated injustices facing the African people.  It would have been impossible to not be touched by story after story of how it's impacting lives.  Just as moving was the response of the 1700 that had gathered to hear Stephen Lewis speak.  The applause that filled the room multiple times through out the evening stirred me deeply.  It spoke of peoples deep commitment to help the ease the suffering of others.  I was in that moment reminded that as humans we are created in God's image and therefore have an intrinsic dedication to seeing justice come to the lives of the broken and the poor.  

Over an over Stephen Lewis made reference to promises that governments have made and subsequently broken.  He asked the question that is on so many of our hearts when we encounter the injustices of this world… "How can this happen?"  In a day and age when solutions are available, people are still dying at a rapid rate.  Why!?  You could almost feel the weight and desperation behind that question as it filled the hearts and minds of each one present.  This brings me back to the most significant thing I took away from the evening:  people… Canadians… care.  Often I have felt that our governments do not represent our commitment to fight injustice very well.  That doesn't change the fact that when you get down to the grassroots of the issues we are ready and willing to do what we can.  I celebrate the heart and passion that I experienced in that room Friday night.  I don't often see it, but I believe that at it's core is the heart of our creator who admittedly came to

"to bring good news to the poor.  …to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed."  Isaiah 61.1

 
Stephen Lewis inspired me on Friday night, but more importantly, God spoke.  I am reminded yet again that what the world needs desperately, what Africa needs desperately, is not only better government, access to schools, AIDs drugs, and money.  We need a saviour, and it's only as we allow Christ to be that for us that we'll be able to really do something with the passion for justice that He gave to us when we were created.  Stephen Lewis mentioned a conversation he'd had with an African woman that quite perplexed him.  He asked her what she and others like her were doing to help meet the needs of their immediate surroundings.  She simply told him "we pray".  Today, I join that woman and many like her in prayer.  I pray that God brings healing and justice to the people of Africa.  I pray that his love and life come to that continent, and that they see Him as saviour.  I pray too for Stephen Lewis and the thousands of people who so honourably give their lives and hearts to bring justice where there is none.  I pray they too meet the God of Justice as they put their hands to the work of His heart.  Finally, I pray that the inspiring commitment an passion for justice that filled that room Friday night would rock the Church.

For the next week I feel challenged to meditate on God's word as it relates to this heart for justice.  One verse that stands out to me, and I will allow to permeate my heart is Micha 6:8

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Teach us God.  Give us your heart.  Fill us with mercy as we are humbled today in the face of injustice.  To our great collective "WHY!?" we pray that you'd come and speak truth and understanding.  Bring peace Father.  Pour out mercy.  Let there be justice.

If you're interested in learning more about what's going on in Africa I HIGHLY recommend Stephen's book Race Against Time

What a year

Blog Category: musings — Blogged by: chadb_ca on May 30, 2008

It's almost impossible to believe, but it's been a year since Jayda passed away.  So much has happened in the midst of grief.  The letting go, the moving on, the act of remembering, the building of life since my world changed last June.  It's been quite a year, and looking back from today it's gone by so quick.  At the same time it feels like 3 or 4 years have passed when I sit and ponder all that God has walked us through in the space of a year.

I'll probably share some more in another entry later this week, but just wanted to pause today and remember Jayda.  June 1st will be the official anniversary of her passing, but I'm sure my weekend will be full of memories, tears, laughs, and celebration.  As has been the case through out this year, I again invite God to be actively present.  His presence is life – something that I've come to understand with far greater depth this year.

We're on our way to Calgary to be with mom and dad this weekend.  I'm looking forward to resting together in His presence.  I anticipate lots of shared stories and memories that will bring both laughter and tears.  I also know that God will laughing and crying right there with us.  He is a good and faithful God, and as always, thoughts of Jayda quickly remind be of that fact.  Jayda's relationship with Jesus has become an ever present example to me in my life and faith.  The reality of Christ in her life, especially in the final few months of her life, was incredibly real and life changing.  I miss her like crazy and as I head into this weekend I'm needing to simply crawl up into the fathers lap and sit a while.

So, This is Christmas!?

Blog Category: musings — Blogged by: chadb_ca on December 19, 2007

Santa and His Angels

Forgive me while I vent a little – HA!  Call me crazy, but it feels like Christmas is out of control this year.  Just yesterday I was listening to the radio while driving, and a commercial from our friendly neighbourhood Walmart came on.  They were targeting last minute shoppers with a generic message about how great they are, and finished the add by suggesting a great 'gift idea'.  That's not so crazy in and of itself.  What hit me funny was the nature of their great 'gift idea'.  Hold on for what may change someones Christmas!! – a $400 GPS unit!!

Does that hit anyone else as insane!  When did Christmas gifts hit the $400 – $4000 mark?  Truth is $4000 is nothing according to car companies this Christmas.  Their great gift idea is a brand new $40,000 car.  No word of a lie, I saw a BMW commercial the other day that was suggesting their cars as a brilliant 'gift idea'.

I guess what has really hit me is how far we've drifted from the real 'meaning of Christmas'.  Simply put, it is to be a celebration of God's gift to us in Jesus – Not the accumulation of more 'stuff'.  Christmas doesn't need to get 'bigger and better' from one year to the next (even if retail budgets & goals do).  The glory of Christmas is bigger than any of us could ever comprehend.  I pray that somehow Jesus isn't lost in the gigantic pile of store flyers that keep piling up in my mailbox, or in the running from one Christmas party to another.  I pray that this next week brings moments of deep rest and reflection in which God is able to not only speak, but be heard.  Keep your BMW with it's GPS Unit all decked out and ready to carry me from one over crowded Walmart to the next.  All I really 'long for' this Christmas is the chance to be with friends and family, and to commune with my Saviour.  In all honesty… isn't that what it's all about?

Home

Blog Category: lessons, musings — Blogged by: chadb_ca on November 15, 2007

What a journey!

Tuk Tuk

The past couple of weeks have been amazing in so many ways.  God used them to open my eyes, my heart, and my life up to so much more.  I met incredible people from all over Asia (and even a few from the U.S. believe it or not… HA!)  Honestly, to reflect on it is to count the blessings of what will forever be my 'first trip to Asia'.  I know that it was the beginning of incredible things to come.  I'd had suspicions, but it's now become quite clear.  God has plans for Janna and I that include Asia, and I'm speechless at the thought.  What exactly it might look like is beyond my comprehension at this point.  All I know is that this trip was merely an introduction to a HUGE continent filled with amazing people, and that I have been invited to begin sharing life with a handful of them.

That said, it is incredibly good to be home.  As I sat on the plane from Korea to Seattle the other day (a 10 hour flight!) I was feeling exhausted, anxious, etc.  Suddenly I began to think of our house in Comox, and the home that God is building for us here.  Immediately my heart was at peace, and I was filled with contentment.  I am so thankful for the incredible life that God has given to me.  Janna and I have really started to put down roots here in this Valley, and no matter where our journey's take us, we feel strongly that this place will continue to be a place of rest and refuge for us for many years.  In other words… this is home.

The gift of 'home' is one that I believe to be universally treasured.  It looks different all over the globe, but it is of a high priority and deep value to most.  The truth is, many people live without it in our culture, and yet even they seem to fight for it, search for it, and live with a longing for it.  Home is place where you are known, where your heart is trusted and allowed to find it's way.  Home is a safe place where we are able to truly be ourselves.  A place of peace, rest, life, and love.  Ultimately, I believe this longing is for Heaven. Heaven – a place where 'home' is all the things I've described our Earthly home to be, only there it is complete in all these things. 

I wrote a song a while back called 'Where I Belong' (I'll try to record it in the next bit so you can hear it).  It speaks of a longing in each of us for Home.  In it there is a lyric that says

I've found a place

Where I belong here

Safely at rest

In the arms of my Father

The lyric is a description of home!  Many of us can deeply relate to the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15.  All of us have in different ways taken our inheritance and 'left home' for what we figured was a better option.  This inevitably has left us with this shared longing to return home.  One of my favorite books of all time is called Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen.  In it He uses his reflections on Rembrandt's painting – the Prodigal Son – to speak of dive deeply into this parable from Luke 15.  This painting has become a deep and ever growing inspiration to me (I have a print of it hanging in my worship room that Marty and Keri brought me from Russia).  It is a reminder to me that I have a home, now in part, and one day in all it's perfection.  I wrote another song while Jayda was sick, and it speaks to the traveler on this journey towards home.  It's called travel on, and the chorus encourages us to

Travel on

Sweet Child

Journey on

So here I am.  Home, after an incredible couple of weeks, I'm Home.  I praise God today for the blessing of this place, and the taste of things to come that it is has become for me.  I pray for each of you today… that God would help you find home.  Heaven is not a place on Earth, and yet Home is not only a place that can be found after death.  Christ's invitation to 'fullness of life' is surely an invitation to come home.

Asia Awaits

Blog Category: musings — Blogged by: chadb_ca on October 19, 2007

suitcaseIt's hard to believe that in two weeks I'll be in Asia.  I've wanted to go for so long, and now it's happening.  For those of you who don't know, I'm headed to Thailand and Indonesia with some other Vineyard guys.  We'll be hooking up with the Vineyard church in Bangkok for a few days before we hop on a plane to Bali for the Asia Vineyard Gatherings.  (I'm told that worship will be led by people of a different country/language/and culture each time we meet, so I'm pretty excited! 

I have to say… my heart is full of anticipation as I prepare for this trip.  I have a deep sense that God has incredible things planned for my time there.  When I was invited to go I knew right away that I had to make it work, but it's only been recently that I've started to see why God wanted me there.  Initially the plan was to spend about 5 days in Bangkok before we headed for Indonesia.  Then, a week ago, Norm and I were invited to come and participate in a worship conference prior to the Asia Gatherings. 

The conference will be filled with worship pastors from Indonesia who are really wanting to press into the Father's heart.  Up until now, most Christian worship in Indonesia has looked very 'western'.  As a result it has made it hard for the people of Indonesia to really enter into intimate places of expression and receiving.  Kiemi, the woman who is putting the conference together, has a deep desire to see the Indonesian church able to express there hearts with Indonesian songs, dance, and other creative expressions that are true to who they are as a people.  This vision and desire connects so perfectly with my heart for the people of God all over the world.  I've come to know the impact that unhindered and ___ worship has on the worshiper, a community, and even those who don't know Jesus.

This opportunity has me speechless.  Once again, God has stepped into my journey and orchestrated things in a way that goes far beyond my wildest dreams!  This experience has deepened my faith in Him.  He truly does have a plan for my life, and I am learning (one step at a time) to simply follow… He continues to take care of the rest!

Please pray for me as I head out on this trip.  Pray that God will clearly lead me as I head into a very unknown place.  I will be asked to help facilitate times of worship with people who know little to no English, so you can pray for divine creativity and wisdom on that front.  As well, they want me to be ready to 'teach'… so you can pray for insight and direction there as well.  Most of all, pray with me for eyes to see and ears to hear what God is doing and saying.

Here is a copy of the conference brochure, I thought some of you might like to see it: Worship Conference Invitation

Update

Blog Category: musings — Blogged by: chadb_ca on September 21, 2007

Hey everybody,

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted to my blog.  Life has been really good this past couple months, but it's been full.  My brother'n'law Chris and nephew Ezekiel have been staying with us since the middle of August.  We're lovin'  having this time with them, and have been really excited to see our home be such a place of rest for them.  As well, Janna has started a job with Westjet here in Comox, and I've recently been promoted to Assistant Manager at Starbucks.  It's just really exciting to see how God is really planting us here in the Valley!  We have a real sense that this will be our home for a long time, and that we will realize many of the dreams and passions God has given us here in this place.

Backyard Communion

We've been eating outside in our incredible back yard a ton!  This pic was taken right before a BBQ feast with Chris and Kiel.

There are a ton of stories, adventures, and opportunities that I will share via this blog over the next few weeks.  Life has caught somewhat of a groove here, and I think it's going to mean I have a lot more time to record, blog, read, etc.  In fact, you can keep your eye on the blog for my newest recording.  It's a song called Lord, I will come and I've been working on it for a couple weeks now.  I hope to post it sometime next week.

I pray that today God touches your life, and that He opens your eyes to His presence as He has mine in the past couple days.

Chad 

31… what a year

Blog Category: musings — Blogged by: chadb_ca on August 19, 2007

Today is my birthday and needless to say, my 30th year has been an incredible one in many ways.  This year has been full of endings and beginnings alike.  Janna and I ended our journey in the Big city and began a very new and refreshing one here on the Island.  That same move meant (in some ways) to our journey with Epic Ministries and the beginning of what has become our beloved home church here in Comox.  In both an exciting and frightening way, this year has brought major changes to my life as a pastor.  In a sense, a journey has ended for me in this area of my life.  That said, my eyes are being opened daily to the powerful and life changing reality of God's call over me being lived out in everyday life.

My life has been altered in core ways this past year.  When I think about the breadth and impact of this change it leaves me breathless.  To think that it was during my 30th birthday party last summer that I looked around at all the friends God had added to my life… took stock of all he'd done in Janna and I in the few short years prior… and thought "I can't believe He's moving us on, this is just so good."  A year later, and I could never put on paper the multitude of ways that Jesus has lead me, spoke to me, restored me, provided for me, opened my understanding, and more than anything… loved me. 

Ironically, while God has been bringing me such incredible life here on Earth, He also chose to bring full life to my sister in Heaven. Jayda's death touched deep places in me, and has sobered me incredibly. That said I truly believe that her legacy coupled with our final moments together (both in life and death) have brought about deep restoration in my life. They have also helped to finish and bring deep understanding to many of the things God started in my heart a year ago when we started this very new season of life.

Paul's words in II Corinthians 5:17 have never been as real for me as they are now.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

What a year!  I can truly say I will never be the same.  My faith for today is a new and increasing one, and my hope for tomorrow has become far more sure and honest.  My identity is being found more and more in Christ, and as I come to that place I am finding rest and peace like I've never known.  He has shown me so clearly who I am as He's revealed to me how He sees me.  I've come to real clarity as it relates to my dreams and His call over my life.  He's a Big God, and this year has humbled me as I've realized that more.  Surrender has taken on new meaning, and this past year has restored in me a reckless abandon that hasn't been there since I was 8 or 9 years old.

Restoration is a promise that God is not slow to act on, and is completely able to bring about. The word restoration was prophesied over my life, by a dear friend, almost exactly 3 years ago. Since then, I've seen God's gentle hand bringing it about in my life one day at a time. All I can say is Praise Him! With everything that you are, Praise Him! With songs, paintings, poems, dances, and all other expressions of the heart…. around shared meals and in quiet moments of prayer… in seasons of work, and days of rest… in marriage, the birth of a child, and death… in times of blessing and of loss…. in both joy and sorrow…. Praise Him!

Hosesa 6 (*vs 1&2)

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