This past couple months have been amazing. In late September Brent and I traveled to Kelowna to meet with others on a faith/church journey similar to ours here in the Valley. We spent our time as a group sharing our community journey's, and praying for each other at length. Personally I went expecting this to be a time of rich encouragement that would ultimately launch us in a 'new direction' as a community here in the Comox Valley. I think in many ways I was right in that it was to be the beginning of our next season, but I couldn't have been more wrong in my expectations for what the season would look like.
For the last 4+ years we've lived here in Comox, and have known that in coming God was taking us into a season of rest and restoration. We have grown to deeply love this place, and feel very at home here. God has blessed us with rich friendships, a home that we enjoy, and a future that is filled with possibility and excitement. Throughout this past few years we've really connected with the church as a whole in the Valley, and continue to pray about our connection/place within it. Presently we meet with a small group in our homes, and our lives lived out together continue to be a rich treasure. The intimacy of this smaller group has challenged us to press into greater depths of what it is to be real, share life, and really take hold of what Christ calls us too as His followers. I'd be lying if I didn't share the wrestle we often have as a group. Inside of each of us (myself more than most) is a tendency to feel too small or too insignificant. Should we be 'growing' in number? Should we be joining a larger community? Should we be creating ministries, opportunities, etc?
As I traveled Kelowna, I went hoping to encounter some divine wisdom that would launch us into what's next. To my humble amazement, God did speak very clearly, but what He said couldn't have been further from what I expected (or perhaps wanted) to hear. "The season of 'waiting' isn't over". I clearly heard Him call me back to the depths of a heart journey that He's had us on over the past number of years. I realized that I had begun to think the season of restoration was over. In reality God wasn't finished. As I pressed into this prayerfully with friends, I heard God speak the words that I believe will shape the immediate future for Janna and I. He said "Your heart is my number one priority, and whatever you choose to do next be sure to make it yours as well."
These words brought tears to my eyes as I felt immediately overwhelmed by the love and care of God. In a time where I was starting to feel self expectation to be and do more with my life, my situation, my gifts, etc… He gently came and reminded me that His agenda isn't driven by a desire to see me accomplish or achieve anything. He simply, completely, and unconditionally loves me, and that love shows itself in His deep desire to see me whole and free.
Janna and I have taken this revelation very seriously, and over the past few months have prayed long and hard about what this call was to mean for our daily lives in a practical way. How do we best allow my Heart the space it needs to encounter that life changing work of the Holy Spirit? Specifically, we've prayed about weather I was able to obediently peruse what God had planned while still in my role at the Salvation Army. Over the course of a couple months we came to see that God was asking me to lay it down, and to follow Him into a healing journey. So, it is with much prayer that I've made the very difficult decision to leave my job at the Salvation Army as of January 1st. While the leaving is sad on so many levels, it is filled with hope and excitement knowing that God has so clearly asked it of me.
Janna knew before I did that God was asking this of us, and we're really thankful to Him for the peace that He's provided us in the midst of this transition. I don't know what's next job wise, or how God will meet our needs. I do know that He will continue to faithfully care for us. Verses like
The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Psalm 23.1-3
and
“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6.31-34
have struck me in a fresh way during these past few weeks. God is so present in our lives, and it's with great anticipation that I wait on Him today. He is so faithful, and I love Him more and more for that.
