A few weeks before we made the actual move to Lethbridge, I got to spend a weekend with some great friends at the Vineyard Church in Campbell River. Gary Best was sharing at a conference there, and on the Friday night He had us pray over those who felt God wanting to release them to ‘dream again’. I felt God strongly prompt me to respond, a choice that resulted in incredible encouragement from God to me. The words of encouragement, direction, and wisdom from God came through 4 guys who also made a choice. They chose in that moment to listen, and to believe that God would use them to speak to my heart and journey.

One of the things God communicated was His intention to ‘draw me to His heart’ in this season. That our time in Lethbridge would be one of preparation, and specifically one of coming close to the Father’s heart (for us, for His church, for the world He created, etc.) Who wouldn’t love a promise like that! It truly did fill me with incredible hope and excitement for our move.

Since arriving, it’s been awesome to see how God is, in no small way, faithfully fulfilling His promise to me. The thing I sometimes forget, is that to come close to the heart of God means an exposing of our own. On one hand that exposing has been incredibly encouraging. To have God so clearly show you who you are in Him and just how much He loves you is life giving like nothing else is. The tough part is the realization that there are still damaged and unhealthy places in my heart. Any time spent in God’s company will inevitably expose those things, as light exposes darkness. It’s been so important to remember that this exposing is no less an extension of His love for me than His words of acceptance and encouragement. It is His love that refuses to leave me with my brokenness, and His deep commitment to my freedom that has Him address the areas of my heart that are incredibly scary for me to look at.

It’s in the face of this ‘darkness’ that I’ve come to realize we have a choice to make. It is a choice of ultimate significance. A choice that can mean light instead of darkness. Like actions carried out in darkness, our lives lived with unresolved hurt and pain… our lives filled with unforgiveness and resentment… our lives paralyzed by secrets and the weight of the unaddressed wrongs we’ve committed… all mean a life continued in the restrictions of our brokenness. God’s desire and offer to us stands in direct opposition to this restricted life. It is that we would “be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3.19 While the work of healing and restoration is one that only God can do, we do have a key choice to make in response to His offer of life. Galatians 5.16-18 says:

16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 18 But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

“So you are not free to carry out your good intentions” is another way of saying this fight has a direct effect on our choices. Daily, in multiple situations, relationships, and even in the confines of our own mind and heart, we are faced with a fight between Spirit and flesh (light and dark). It’s in the face of that fight that we must choose to be led either by the Holy Spirit or by our own plans, ideas, and leanings. We are undoubtedly in need of grace to make this choice well, especially when fear, anxiety, pride, and the like work hard in us to impact the decision. So, it is with a heart of prayer and longing that I turn to God for the grace and faith needed to choose His work in some of the harder places of my heart. I pray too for you as you read this. That the grace of God would allow you to embrace His the offer He makes to you right now… to draw near to Him and know life.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 17th, 2012 at 10:48 am and is filed under lessons. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.