The other day I woke up feeling pretty ‘out of it’. The main issue was a deep unrest, and personal frustration with feeling this way again. As I sat down to spend some time in scripture and prayer I was saddened by the realization that I’d ‘lost my bearings’ again. As I reflected on this I began to see that I’d slowly stopped pursuing God in prayer, study, and in generally with my attitude/heart over the couple days previous. In frustration with my self and the situation I sat back and laid a couple questions before God:

• Why do I ‘check out’ like this?
• What causes me to wander off like I do?
• Why do I get so tired, so distracted, so overwhelmed time and again?

God quieted my heart, and then clearly spoke these words to me: “It’s because you think there’s a scorecard”. I began to realize that for me the Christian life can feel like a giant test, and God a watchful eye making notes on a huge scorecard. In fact, I believed this so fully that I began to wrestle it through with God: “If there’s no scorecard, then what’s with the story of the talents in Matthew 25?” I mean, the two servants that doubled the masters investment got the coveted commendation “well done my good and faithful servant” while the one who lost his masters investment was chastised as wicked and lazy!

Then I heard God say “you’ve misunderstood the parable”. Suddenly I began to see the story with fresh vision. I began to see that these men weren’t given money to invest because the master needed them to make him more money. He had lots, and was most definitely capable of investing that money without their help. He invited them to partner with him not out of need, but out of love. The master, in asking these men to invest his money, was saying “I love you, and I know you can do this. I want you to steward this investment for me not because I need you too, but because I want to involve you in the work of my kingdom.” It was with this understanding that the men were to take and invest the money (and the first two did just that.) Somehow the love and trust of the master afforded them the courage to invest and subsequently double his money. This resulted in the joyful praise of the master.

The third man’s experience was very different. His response to the responsibility given to him was one of fear that led to an inability to see that the master believed in him. It made it impossible to see that master would never ask something of him that was beyond his ability. Rather than be inspired and released by the masters trust, he allows this incredible opportunity to become overwhelming. Fears, anxiety, self-doubt, and the belief that he would inevitably fail the master cause him to bury the money in the ground! The third man was unable to see clearly the nature of the master who believed in him. Instead he saw a giant scorecard and was inevitably overwhelmed by the false responsibility and expectations he created for himself.

I have heard so clearly the voice of God saying “I love you, and invite you to join me in the work of the kingdom”. Now I pray for the ability to undo years of thinking that involve a giant scorecard. I pray instead for the ability to run in the freedom that is the Love of a God who believes in me and invites me to a full life with Him.

Lord, Let Your kingdom come.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 15th, 2011 at 8:49 pm and is filed under eyes and ears, lessons. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.