This past month has been so hard, and yet if I'm honest, it's been really good at the same time.  Loosing a sister is something you can't really be prepared for, and so I've truly been taking life one day at a time.  One of my biggest prayers in the past few weeks has been for the ability to be 'real'.  God has taught me a lot about walking in honesty through out Jayda's bout with cancer, and my prayer now is that He would continue to teach me to live openly.  To cry, to laugh, to celebrate loudly, and to receive the comfort of the Spirit inside quiet moments of reflection.  He has been answering that prayer.  In fact, I felt it only right to take a moment in the midst of this intense and difficult journey to praise God for the active role that He is playing in all of this.

Right from the beginning of Jayda's final days, God has been caring for Janna and I in an incredibly active way.  Countless times in the past month, we've looked at each other with huge eyes, and expressed our reverence for God's sovereignty in all things.  There are too many things to list here, but I wanted to share a couple of the big ones.  First off, God has shown us, yet again, that His timing is perfect.  We were able to be with Chris and Jayda for her final diagnosis, and Jayda's final breaths.  This is truly miraculous when you consider the physical distance that is between us.  We knew we would be unable to plan our days, because the past two weeks have been so filled with unknowns.  We prayed that God would orchestrate the timing of it all, and help us make wise decisions.  To say that He answered our prayer is an understatement.

Secondly, God has been our provider!  This isn't new to us as God has taken care of our needs in crazy ways time and again.  That said, it will never cease to amaze me when He does it as perfectly as He does.  I got a job at Starbucks this month, and my first week of shifts were in between Jayda's diagnosis and her final day.  Little did I know, but starting at Starbucks that week entitled me to bereavement pay (that pretty much covered what I would have made if I'd worked the week of Jayda's funeral!)  In addition to that God took care of our flight costs for both trips to Sask, and all our other expenses relating to the second trip!  If that's not enough… Janna got a call from Westjet that has led to a second interview (we'll find out what comes of that one early next week.)  All of these things add up to the fact that God loves us extravagantly.  He knew so perfectly what we needed, even when we didn't are were to overwhelmed to take care of them ourselves.  He truly is our provider, we have all that we need.

The last thing I'll share is hard to put into words.  For lack of them I will refer to it as a peace that passes my understanding phil 4.7.  God has really been a God of comfort, and of peace for me.  In answer to my prayers, He has come so close.  My heart is continually filled with prayer, and a deep sense of His presence from moment to moment.  Ultimately I feel like I'm being led through this season in a very intentional way.  Psalm 23 sums up my present reality perfectly.

So… God is good!  There's not much else to say, and that in and of itself is amazing to me.  I'm so thankful that given such hard circumstances, I've been able to see Christ at work.  His presence and guidance are a true source of strength right now.  The coolest part of all of this is that I know it's all an answer to many of Jayda's final prayers here on Earth.  God did much the same thing for Her, and now He is caring for those she loved.  I pray continue God.  Take surrendered lives and show yourself strong.