Goodbye
Jayda died yesterday at 10:55pm. Janna and I arrived at the hospital 45 minutes prior to her passing, and I'm deeply great full to God for the chance to be with her, and with family as she died. I am truly overwhelmed by her death, and yet to my sorrow has come an incredible peace and presence of God. I know that Jesus has defeated death, and so I have hope for life beyond this one. Jayda knew Jesus, and in her last days I believe she came to know Him on a level that many of us never have. She spoke of Him often, and the language she used reminded me that His presence is a very real and everyday reality.
I wrote a new song last week, and it's filled my days ever since
"Whatever the situation
No matter the cost
When my heart feels like singing
Or saying nothing at allI'm going to praise You Jesus
You've always been there for me
In my joy and in my sorrow<
I know it's going to be okay
I'm going to live to Your glory
And pray the world sees you in me
For as long as I live
I'm going to praiseI'm going to praise You Jesus
You've always been there for me
In my living and in my dying
I know You've conquered the grave
I'm going to live to your honour
Giving glory to Your name
With every breathe You give me
I'm going to praise "
God is teaching me more than can fit into a blog entry right now. I may write a book, and will for sure be working on an album in the months to come. More than anything, I pray that the remainder of my life gives testimony to the impact Jayda had on me. I pray too that I can be a witness to the deep things of Christ's heart that have become clear to me in that past 3 years. Through out this journey with Jayda… I've wrote many songs, prayed many prayers, heard God whisper many words, and seen Jesus hand many times… I am eternally great full for it all.
Today, as I write this, I am most great full to God for my sister. She was an amazing girl, and had become an even more incredible woman, wife, mother, and friend. She was always real, and called things like she saw them. She loved people deeply, and her God most of all. It is weird to not have her here with us anymore. I will miss her often and with all my heart. I praise God for her life, her friendship, her love. It has been an honour to be her big brother, and I'm honoured to know she loved me as deeply as she did. I'm so glad that her fight is over, and that she now knows life to the full! She had a huge heart for worship and never could contain the creative desires that God stirred in her. I can only imagine that she is already a huge part of heavens worship.
On Mother's Day (last month) Jayda spoke at her church. I wasn't there, but I've been told that she read a psalm that I've read many times this week. It has really spoke to my heart, as I know it did to Jayda's. It was Psalm 23:
1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.
June 3rd, 2007 at 8:18 pm
brother. you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. lets connect when you're back on the coast.
June 3rd, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Chad…I am so deeply saddened for you and your family at this time. You are in our prayers and thoughts. We are holding you all very close to our heart right now. Sincerely, Karen Lavoie
June 4th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Words cannot express the feelings in our hearts at this time for you all. As I read your words Chad I realized that today your sister is dancing on the streets of gold with Brent's Mom and Dad. It is so good to know that those that go on before us are not only in our past (Memories) but they are so much in our future. Thank you for sharing your heart so freely. Love you all so very much
June 5th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
What can be said at this time? Everything that comes to mind seems trite and cliche. When I worked at Samaritan's Purse there was a friend of Jayda's that worked there, and we prayed for Jayda on a regular basis. I can only assume that since God did not heal her, her death will bring more glory to His name than her life would have. But I know that does nothing for the pain.
June 7th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Dear Chad. God is so good to us. Only He has the answers to our questions,only He is the Balm of Gilead for us,it's all about Him in the end. Praise Him for making a way for us be with Him in the end. His love is so extravagent,so over the top,so full and running over,I have not the words to describe what I sense of His love. I know that Jayda has understanding now that we don't have, we can only grasp at it and try to understand it. Bless you, Chad. You are very good soil and I can see that the seed planted in you is now coming to fruition…songs,word,actions,thoughts,dreams,music and so much more will be harvested from your life. Blessing and much love………Irene
June 8th, 2007 at 11:04 am
This is all just so hard to imagine, I can't believe it's reality. If I feel that way, I cannot imagine what you all are going through. God is so present in all of this, it's undeniable. To watch you and your family face this loss, and to see how many people, friends, family, complete strangers, are touched, has been inspiring and a huge eye opener. I was brought to a passage in Malachi through the past few weeks, and I found it to be so real, and alive right now: '…But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in it's wings…' Please know that there are so many thinking of you, praying for you, and loving you… healing will come… Much love to you, Janna, Chris, Stan, Lori, and Lois
October 9th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Chad, This is the first time that I have been reading your blog and had to stop and say a few words here. Though I just found out about your loss, the pain will still be deep and real. I sympathize with you now. The pain for Chandel and I is still part of our lives but time and healing have allowed for hope in God and with God's plan. Take comfort in His promises and that He loves and cares for us more than we could feel. God's love surpasses what pain we feel though life and death. Peace and blessings.