Yesterday I made myself laugh (I do that a lot… at lest I think I'm funny… HA… see I just did it again.)  Anyways, as I was saying I made myself laugh.  I was in a coffee shop writing in my journal, and this is what I wrote:  "Rest is beginning to reveal a restlessness in me."  I laughed because I'd never realized that the word 'restless' quite simply means to be without rest.  Too often the reality of my life hits me with such childlike simplicity that I find myself embarrassed, having been completely oblivious to what should have been elementary.

I Am Restless.

This reality hits me yet again in the irony of my life.  For many years now I've longed for space and time to fully live.  Room in my day to day to see and hear the world around me, to interact with friends and family, to soak in simplicity and solitude.  I've wanted so desperately to find that place of balance where there is time to write and create.  I feel like God has provided that place and time for this here in Comox, and this excites me.  At the same time, I realize that I really have little idea how to embrace the gift that has been given.  Instead I want to receive a gold star for ever getting here, and move on to the next thing.

I Am Restless.

Truth is, there is no 'next thing'.  This is it!  I am where God wants me, and now I pray for the ability to really live a life of rest.  Paul W encouraged me to really 'move to Comox'.  To unpack our boxes.  To meet my neighbours.  I heard God's heart in his words then, and I'm beginning to see and hear it even more as time goes on.  Rest is to be at the core of who we are, and I have faith to say that soon…

I Will No Longer Be Restless.