One of the things I've really been looking forward to, in this new pace of life, is the opportunities to do some of the things I love.  I spent a lot of days on a ski hill in high school, but ever since I've chosen to put my time and attention into other things.  School, Music, Ministry, etc… long story short I haven't been on a hill in like 10years!  I have to admit that it seems wrong to have lived in Calgary for 10 years, and to have never been to Sun Shine or Lake Louise. 

Without getting to into it, I know that God is teaching me to weave rest into my day to day life.  That is hard for me in a lot of ways, but I've been snowboarding 4 times now and the whole time I'm on the mountain I can't help but ask 'what have I been doing to myself'.  If I'm completely honest excuses like: 'I didn't have enough cash' or 'there's just not enough time' or 'priorities, it's all about priorities' were all just covers for 'I think I'm more important than I am', HA!  People have a tendency to feel like they can't take a break, or that they are never aloud to be the focus of their own personal attention.  The issue with that attitude is that it slowly kills us.  Ironically we end up destroying our ability to do the very thing we think our 80hr/wk, high intensity, purpose driven lives are accomplishing.

Snowboarding, Golfing, Reading without watching a clock are all among the blessings that God is introducing into my life right now.  I spent my whole first day snowboarding with a HUGE smile on my face.  It is truly an amazing blessing to be learning how to live with a rested heart.  I feel like something major is being restored to me (and I don't mean the ability to rip it up 'ol school on a snowboard… although I am loving it.)

Community is a real buzz word in the church today, and I'm glad that it is.  Over the past 3-4 years, God has taught Janna and I so much about living in community.  As we begin life on the Island our prayer is that God will not limit community to a concept or topic for philosophical debate, but that we will have incredible opportunities to live it out.  While I have to admit I love the idea, I have to also say that the trouble with truly living life "in community" (Acts 3.43-47 is a great example of what I'm talking about)  is also it's greatest joy… Other People!  That may sound harsh, but you have to admit that there are times when life seems safer and easier to control when we don't have to share it with others.

Friends, family, spouses, children, employers, our church bodies…  Other people often complicate life.  Their words, opposing ideas, loving attempts to offer advice, etc.  With some (often those we love the most) it's the simple fact that they exist and have an opinion that can make life tricky.  Our inability to escape certain relationships can truly intensify what it means to live in community. The reality of life however, is that the sacrifice and vulnerability needed to 'share life' are worth every terrifying moment.  We need each other! 

While it's hard to find people who disagree with the need for community, it is equally as hard to find those that are willing to "lay down their lives for their friends".  There are a million ways that we make community hard for each other, and I'd say one of the biggest is our inability to both give and receive forgiveness. 

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what it takes to really share life.  Ultimately, the most intense and unchanging environment in my life is that of family.  I have awesome family, and love them dearly.  This past couple years have overflowed with both joy and sorrow for much of my immediate family.  MS, Cancer, the loss of my beloved Grandma…   I can't think of a better example of community from my own experience than the journey that my family has shared in the past couple years.  The intensity of this journey has been incredible, and while we have really learned to share life in a deeper way through it all, it hasn't come without it's challenges.  

One of the lessons that I've learned from my family, is the power of forgiveness.  Understandably, there have been many moments where the intensity of our lives caused us to interact with each other in less than admirable ways.  In other words, we messed up.  The note worth truth of our story isn't how we handled relationships and situations at every turn.  It is however, the power of forgiveness in both the big and the small.  Rather than give up on relationship (as many do in times of crisis) we found deeper places of life together by way of forgiveness.

Henri Nouwen said that we need to "forgive each other for not being God".  I truly believe that in order for the church to live life together, we need God to teach us the art of forgiveness.  I pray that we have the continued strength and humility to both ask for and give it extravagantly.  Community is more than a buzz word, it is Christ's desire for the His church.  It will cost us everything, and it's worth every penny.

Coming to Comox meant finding a place to live. After looking at a ton of rentals, Janna and I settled on 533 Salish St. It is a great little house that becomes more a home with every emptied box. It has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen/dining area, and an awesome living room. My favorite part of the house, however, is the worship room and office/studio that I've got. The owners converted the garage into what is slowly shaping up to be an amazing space. I pray that this is a place filled with new songs, and where many can find new places of intimacy and expression in their relationship with God. Here are a couple pics of our house:

For more pics click here .

This move has been amazing, but it’s also proving to be a challenge on many fronts. One of those has to do with my general sense of value or worth. As a man in todays society, we often allow our jobs to define us. There is a pressure, subtle as it may be, to be ‘successful’ as a man. Success may be measured differently by different people, but it is often attached to a career, money, ‘stuff’, etc. The decision to move to Comox has flown in the face of what many would define as success. It’s not going to make me rich, advance my position in society, or gain me much recognition with my peers. To add to the challenges of this reality I can’t get 3 minutes into a conversation before a person asks me “what brought me to the Island?” or “what do you do?” I find myself wanting to give an impressive answer, and the truth isn’t accomplishing that task.

Over Christmas I picked up a book called Bread For The Journey A Daybook of Wisdom and Faith by Henri Nouwen. This collection of short daily readings has set me to thinking and soul searching on almost a daily basis since. The following writing is from January 4th, and it spoke incredibly deep things to the inner battle for purpose and identity that I find myself in a lot lately.

Fruit’s That Grow In Vulnerability

There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over it’s development, and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching on another’s wounds. Let’s remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.

Though I am far from fully living life free from the desire to be ‘successful’, I do desire to move more and more from that to desire to one of ‘fruitfulness’. In order to live a fruitful life I believe one must be ready to, at times, fly in the face of the world around them. I pray that my life here on the Island will bear much fruit, and that I will be free from the confines of what I have for so long considered success. I encourage us all, as Henri did, to “remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.”

Last year, Janna and I had the opportunity to put our house up for sale. The housing market in Calgary had gone nuts, and we both felt like God was asking us to sell and pay off our debt. At the time we had no idea that life would move us away from Calgary, so logic won out and we re-financed instead of selling. Months after our hearts were set on Comox and God was orchestrating things for our move. We were able to sell our house, but it took much longer than it would have months earlier, and we lost out on some potential cash in the good ‘ol pocket when it was all said and done.

This experience got me thinking about why we hesitate when God speaks. My life is a testimony to the fact that obedience is the only valid response when God is asking something of us. As a boy I watched my parents demonstrate this truth on numerous occasions, and I quickly began to live it out myself. Janna and I have had multiple experiences where God has asked us to “step out of the boat, and onto the water”, and every time He’s been faithful and the fruit of those decisions has made me who I am today. So… why the hesitation?

I’m attempting to read the Gospels from front to back in the next couple months (I’ll get into that in future entries I’m sure), and I’ve started with Matthew’s Gospel. I was deeply stuck by Joseph’s story the other day. Here’s a single Jewish guy who’s “virgin” girlfriend comes to him with news of her pregnancy, and he understandably makes plans to bow out of the relationship gracefully. That night God speaks to him in a dream:“Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to go ahead with your marriage to Mary. For the child within her has been conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” Mtth 1.20-21 Joseph’s obedience here boggles the mind! I mean, just stop for a second and ponder the reality of the situation. I can almost hear the counsel of his closest friends and family (as I’m sure it was close to the counsel I would give.) I’m going to guess that he ran into at least one person who explained away the dream and brought some ‘rational thought’ to this love sick young mans life.

I think there is a key to it all in the word’s of God to Joseph when He said “… do not be afraid.” To often when we think of God speaking, we are afraid. Afraid of where he may lead us, afraid of what he may say, or of what may be required of us. The fear is often compounded when we actually hear His voice, and find that His words are not safe, and his leading isn’t in sync with our plans or agendas. This fear is what causes much of our hesitation. Often the hesitation is filled with our human attempts at wisdom (pros and cons lists, the counsel of friends and family, the odd book on the subject at hand… etc.) The irony here lies in proverbs where it says that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom.” Only God him self is to be feared. Everything else can be met without hesitation, and that is what I pray for. From life changing decisions to the everyday moments, I pray for faith to believe. I pray for obedience to follow without hesitation whenever Christ calls me, and to where ever He leads.